


Another Season In The West

by kanetrain



Series: J&J [2]
Category: Australian Rules Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 15:22:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13251048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanetrain/pseuds/kanetrain
Summary: The difficulties in juggling family, work and affairs.





	1. Pre-Season - December

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little taster of my new fic with the WCE boys. I'm going to do the same thing as last year and write per week, up until the finals. The news is always a bit slow this time of year.
> 
> Full character list in End notes

Time trials sucked. It was the first time since finals the whole squad trained together, with a couple exceptions and Adam made them run. That's it. Nothing else. Running, running, running. Then to add to the misery of the 2km trials, the day was cold and wet for December. Only last week, it had been beautiful and warm, but today it felt like someone flicked the switch back to winter.

They were at the athletics track. Jack still hadn't had a chance to train at Lathlain yet, unlike the junior guys who had started back two weeks ago. He was looking forward to the chance to train on a ground as big as the MCG. The new ground had been specifically designed for that purpose. The Victorian clubs managed to get the wood over them in Melbourne because the Eagles were not used to the dimensions of the ‘G. All that was going to change now. Not only were there two new training ovals, there would be wonderful new clubroom facilities once they were finally completed, which wouldn’t include a gym in a shed in a carpark. On top of a brand-new training facility they had a shiny new stadium to play their home games at. The best stadium in Australia people were saying. Tomorrow would be the first time any of them got to see their new home ground. It was exciting. Everything was going to have that new car smell. Jack felt very spoilt.

A lot of friends had gone from the full squad. The management hadn't been joking about swinging the axe. Including retirements twelve players had gone to be replaced with newbies and trades. All up they had sixteen blokes who had never played a top-level game of AFL before. It was going to be a tough season.

Jack stood in his newly acquired training tank, royal blue with the new redesigned team logo, hands on his hips when he was bear hugged from behind. He been searching the sea of blue and gold for a certain someone and was blindsided by the tackle.

JD!" Jeremy exclaimed. "How's my favourite forward?"

"Wet. Get off me. You're heavy," Jack said, trying to shrug the large backman off of him.  Jeremy patted his chest and let him go.

"Did you miss me?" Jeremy grinned and Jack couldn't help but grin back. As annoying as Jeremy could be, his good mood was infectious.

"Of course," Jack said. "I wasn't sure how I could survive all those weeks without you."

"Aww, poor Jacky-boy," Jeremy moved his hand to Jack's shoulder. "I'm here now, no need to pine anymore."

"Lucky me," Jack said sarcastically and Jeremy went off to harass Andrew and Brad. Jack watched him go a moment before scanning the crowd again. It was useless. Who he wanted to see he knew wasn't here today. Jack sighed and got ready to take his trial.

It had been nearly two months of not seeing those deep brown eyes, that adorable scraggly beard and the long, strong limber body. Jack had missed Josh beyond words. Occasionally they had exchanged texts and Jack would see what Josh was doing via his Instagram, but that was it. They had had no other contact. There was a nagging feeling at the back of Jack's mind that Josh didn't want him anymore.

Five laps of the running track wasn't all that bad in the scheme of things. It was only on the last lap things became competitive, with the boys jostling for the inside line to try and get a better time. Jack came in his usual middle of pack position during his run. As he bent forward to catch his breath he felt a hard slap on his arse and the hand rest on his lower back. Looking back over his shoulder, Jack expected to see Jeremy's grin but was surprised to see one of the younger guys standing behind him.

"He told me to do it," said new recruit Hamish, pointing over to none other than Jeremy. Jack straightened up and rolled his eyes. Jeremy and his partner in crime, Brad burst out laughing.

"Right," Jack said to Hamish. "I will give you 20 bucks if you lick Gov on the cheek. The wetter and slobbery the better."

"Make it 50," Hamish smiled.

"Done," Jack replied. The newbie bounced over to Jeremy, looking as innocent as a lamb. Jack watched them speak for a moment, Jeremy obviously pleased with himself for the hilarious jape, before Hamish quickly grabbed him so he couldn't get away and repeatedly ran his tongue over Jeremy's cheek.

Jack laughed hard. The reaction was more that he could have hoped for. The big backman looked stunned for a moment and then realising what was happening, he tried to wriggle away. Hamish kept a hold on him and even licked his ear.

Eventually managing to push the young man away, Jeremy stuck his middle finger up at Jack, which made him laugh even more. The two Lukes standing close by started laughing as well.

"You're such a maggot, JD!" Jeremy called out with a grin as his used his shirt to wipe the saliva from his face. Jack blew him a kiss. Jeremy was so easy and fun to tease.

The rain started up again and those who had finished their trials went to look for shelter. Although happy enough to be back with his mates, Jack stood apart from the group, watching the poor sods who had to run in the rain. Even though he knew Josh wasn't here, he still looked out for him. He wondered if this was how it was going to feel when Josh retired. There was a sense of loss and disappointment and he wanted to be alone to wallow. Hopefully Josh’s retirement was still some distance away. Though, he wasn't getting any younger and most guys didn't have much of a playing career beyond thirty.

Hamish came up to stand by him under his large canopy umbrella. Jack side-eyed him with a smile. "Did Gov send you back?"

"Nah. I think you won that one," Hamish said and casually leaned against the pole support. "Are you guys always like that?"

"Pretty much," Jack replied, looking out at the runners. Something was clearly showing on his face as Hamish asked, "Lost something?"

"Just getting used to the new faces," Jack said and turned to look at Hamish. The 19-year-old was a lanky boy, only marginally shorter than Jack, a midfielder from Victoria. The pale skin was a tell-tale sign he was from the southern eastern state. "How about you? Settling in okay?"

"Oh yeah. It's great!" Hamish said enthusiastically. "My brother and I are good. Nice to have a familiar face here though. You don't realise how far away it is. Like a different planet really. I thought I was going to get passed over again so I'm pretty ecstatic to be here and to have Andrew close by is even better. He might come live with me, which would be awesome."

"Yup, we're pretty isolated over here and quite different to Melbourne," Jack agreed, smiling at the young man's exuberance. "You'll like it, I'm sure." He felt an instant burgeoning kinship with the draftee, as he himself also felt pretty lucky to have finally landed a club when he had thrown his name into the mix all those years ago.

"I'm sure I will," Hamish replied and gave Jack a subtle wink. For a fleeting moment a warmth seemed to blossom in Jack's neck.

"I can't wait to play my first game," Hamish went on. He was certainly quite a talkative young man. Jack didn't mind, it took his thoughts away from things less happy. "I've played a bit of VFL so I guess I'll be stuck in the WAFL for a bit."

"East Perth is a good club. I played for West Perth when I was coming through. And Sorrento as a kid." Their feeder club was the Royals. There had been some talk about setting up a new Eagles reserves club, for the exclusive use of West Coast players not in the seniors, as there was sometimes a clash or lack of match practice for the players who were trying to break back into the main side.

"Where's that?"

"Just north of the city," Jack replied. "I live there too. Actually, my whole family does. We didn't stray very far."

"Did you ever think of leaving?"

"Yeah of course. If one of the interstate clubs wanted me I would have gone in a heartbeat. I wasn't very popular and no one wanted me," Jack said, unsure of why he was confessing this to someone he had virtually just met. "But I was lucky, the Eagles gave me chance and I want to stay and repay that belief."

Hamish smiled brightly and almost bounced on his toes. "I feel the same way. It was so shit not getting drafted last year. And this year the numbers kept going up and up and I thought I'd get overlooked again. Andrew is obviously the better player, I mean he went to Fremantle second pick so of course he is. But yeah I want to really get my teeth stuck in and play well."

Despite his slight low mood, Jack couldn't help smiling either. This boy's positivity was as infectious as Jeremy's. It was good to see. Sometimes the guys who breezed through on talent took what they had for granted. Hamish appeared to be someone who wouldn't shy away from hard work and knew how difficult to get to the top actually was.

"I know what you mean. I was too young for the draft and during that year, well, stuff happened that shouldn’t have. So I understand and if you ever want to talk or stuff," Jack offered.

It appeared as though Hamish was curious to know about the stuff that had happened, but he smiled. "Thanks Jack," he said and a soft pink tinged his cheeks. "Although I can't believe no club wanted you. I mean, you're pretty good."

Jack laughed. "Cheers. One day I might tell you the sordid tale."

The final trial finished and just like last year it was Chris who reigned supreme.  He was one of the smaller blokes with little quick legs and had obviously kept his training up over the break. Either that or the bigger men with the longer legs were just lazy. The small tattooed midfielder lauded up his victory and as a few of the boys clapped, Adam herded them up to go back inside for a debrief.

A warm hand rested on Jack's shoulder. "It was nice to talk," Hamish said and let his hand brush down Jack's bicep as he walked off with a couple of the other new players, Jarrod and Oscar. Jack knew that move. It was same thing he used to do when he was subtly trying to tell Josh of his feelings for him without scaring him off. But no, Hamish was just being friendly. Surely.

"Making friends with the newbies?" Scott had arrived at Jack's side as he ducked into the training centre building. The big ruckman was someone Jack had missed being about last year due to him stuffing up his knee and then his shoulder. They were drafted together and debuted in the same year. Although where Jack had managed 150 games in that time, Scott was only on 50, hampered by injury and competing with Nic for a regular ruck position.

"He seems like a nice kid," Jack said. He and Scott took seats up the back near Brad and Andrew. From his spot with the other draftees at the front, Hamish turned and caught Jack's eye, giving him a friendly smile.

"Ooh looks like someone has a hero-crush," Scott teased, jostling Jack with a playful shoulder bump.

"I doubt it," Jack bumped Scott back, who feigned injury.

"Ow! You're too big, Jack. You hurt me," Scott whined, rubbing the shoulder that had kept him out for half a year.

"Even Max doesn't whinge as much as you," Jack said and punched Scott on the arm. Before Scott could retaliate, Adam called for attention.

The meeting didn't last long, thankfully and the boys were on their way home with a reminder to be at the new Stadium at 11. The only thing that could make tomorrow even better was Josh's presence.

 

To put it bluntly, the new Perth stadium was fucking awesome. It was a monolith of timber, glass and steel. It seemed to rival the MCG for presence. The ‘G still had the greater capacity, but this stadium was just beautiful. There was no other word for it.

Hidden behind his sunglasses, Jack looked up at the imposing facade. It caught the sun and dazzled with the reflection. He was so in awe compared to what they had had at Subiaco, he didn't notice the man standing beside him

"Hello," said a familiar voice. Jack started in surprise and then smiled. He knew that voice.

"Hello," Jack replied, trying to keep the broad smile that threaten to break out on his face in check.

"Hello," Josh said again.

"Hello," Jack said with a grin, turning to face Josh and pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head. Then his hands fidgeted as he had no clue what to do with them.

"Hello," Josh replied, his beard twitching as he tried not to smile as well. He'd trimmed it down. It was neater than usual and wasn't as long at the chin.

"How was your time off?" Jack asked, annoyed with himself for he was acting as though Josh was a mere acquaintance. His face started to feel warm.

"Good," Josh replied. "You?"

"Yeah, good," Jack agreed. He played his thumb along his fingers to stop them reaching out to touch the man in front of him, to prove he was real. Jack was desperate to feel the firm muscles under his fingertips, almost as much as he wanted to feel the familiar scratch of that beard against his face. They looked at each other.

"I missed you," Josh said softly, and Jack felt a rush of blessed relief course through him. He hadn't realised how much he had needed to hear Josh say that or how much he had actually been worried that in those two months of absence Josh might have forgotten about him.

"I missed you too," Jack murmured and by the look on Josh's face he appeared just as relieved as Jack was. Unable to resist any longer, Jack reached out and brushed his fingertips along the hem of Josh's shirt. Josh looked at the hand touching his shirt and Jack pulled away, remembering they were out in the open and team-mates were close by.

The stadium tour guide called for attention and group trooped off like a bunch of schoolboys on an excursion. They walked out to the middle of the field and looked around. This was theirs. Their new home ground. And like the older brother with a new toy, they had to share it with Fremantle, but it already felt like home. Huddled into a team circle, Jack found himself between a couple of the support staff guys, and whenever he could he snuck glances across at Josh who stood directly opposite him.

Ever since Jack had arrived at the club, he'd been sneaking glances over to Josh. A lot of players had come and gone from the forward line, but Josh was one of the constants. It hadn't taken long for Jack to work out that the little glances weren't just because he was admiring Josh as a player and someone to emulate. Deeper feelings came to the surface and Jack, sure he hadn't been imagining things, saw Josh return the glances.

Now everything was different. The glances across the training ground, or across the gym floor, were a consolidation of their confessed feelings for one another, silent conversations of understanding.

Josh caught Jack's gaze and smiled. He had missed that smile.

They were shown through the new rooms, all decked out in their colours and new logo. There seemed to be endless corridors and Jack was filing away any secret nooks that he and Josh may be able to utilise in the future. The team took their time amongst the blue and gold décor, talking, laughing, testing out benches, bagsying locker space. In the hubbub no-one noticed their two key forwards slip outside to the empty corridor.

Jack leaned against the cool wall, facing the door to the changing rooms to get a good view in case anyone else came out.

"Hello," he said stupidly, his mind gone blank of vocabulary when all it was occupied with was trying to convince himself not to jump Josh there and then.

"Are we going to go through this again?" Josh smiled and leaned his shoulder against the wall too.

"Yes," Jack said. "I've missed you so much, Kennedy." And taking Josh's bearded face in his hands, he kissed him without hesitation. It was like slipping into something warm and comfortable. He relished every moment of Josh's smell, his warm soft lips, the scratch of his beard, his heavy hand on Jack's hip that moved to the small of his back to draw them closer together.

"Darling," Josh murmured when their lips parted. Jack bit his lip. He enjoyed hearing Josh use his surname like that. It was the main reason Jack called him Kennedy, to prompt its use.

"Can we get together later?" Jack asked softly, stroking his fingertips along Josh's jaw.

Josh sighed softly. "I can't," he said, stepping back lest they were caught snogging in the corridor.

"Lauren?" Jack asked, realising why Josh had knocked back an evening of reunion sex. "How long?"

"She's due any day now. She needs me home and Lottie isn't being very helpful," Josh explained, then continued. "Then it's Christmas. Family and that. And we'll have two under 2..."

"It's okay. I get it," Jack interrupted, his stomach dropping with disappointment. He knew family always took precedence, he always prioritised Max and Courtney, but hearing he wouldn't be able to be with Josh for even longer kicked away the joy he had felt from their kiss.

"Sorry Jack," he said.

"Don't apologise," Jack said and let Josh embrace him. He momentarily tucked himself in against Josh's shoulder, savouring this stolen moment.

"We should probably re-join them," Josh said as he stepped away. He let his fingers brush Jack's hip and walked back in to the change rooms.

Jack took moment to compose himself. Then feigning a phone call, he walked back into the room with his mobile to his ear and then pretended to end the non-existent call.

"This is fucking awesome!" Hamish had appeared next to Jack when he had repocketed his phone. with Oscar and Jarrod in tow. It appeared these three were going to be a new posse. The boys' faces were alive with wonder.

"This is even better than the 'G!" added Jarrod. The tall draftee was their first pick and was a player who had both forward and defending skills. He was similar to Jack. Similar build, short cropped dark hair only a little taller and his face was clean shaven.

"How would you know?" Oscar asked. He had been the Eagles second pick and was a midfielder. Very pale and very blond, the same height as Jack, just not as muscular.

"I've been on the MCG tour," Jarrod replied sheepishly. He'd played most of his football up in Sydney. "Although anything would be better than some of those backwater grounds I've played on."

Jack watched the three bandy back and forth about which grounds were the worst. They reminded him so much of when he was first drafted to the club with Scott, Andrew and Jamie.  A little group of players who stuck together because it was easier to deal with new surroundings and being thrown into a serious professional situation when you had people in the same boat.

"You spoilt brats," Jack teased and Hamish grinned.

"By the way, you owe me 50 bucks," Hamish said. He held out his hand expectantly, rubbing this thumb over his fingers.

"Yeah, I do, don't I?" Jack said. He fished his wallet out and handed over a crisp fresh yellow note. He had remembered to go to the bank on the way to the stadium, however seeing Josh had put everything else from his mind.

Hamish sniffed the new currency. "It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mr Darling."  It was strange to hear a teammate, other than Josh, use his surname. No-one around the club called him anything but JD, boringly enough.

Jarrod looked put out. "What was that for?" he asked, shifting his eyes between Hamish, Jack and the shiny new note.

"I'll tell you later," Hamish confided and pocketed the cash, giving Jack a wink.

It was time to move on with the tour. Jack fell in step with Brad and Scott, with the group of young'uns ahead of him. They were laughing and joking together, half the time on their phones and comparing Snapchats and Instagram pics and vids. Once Hamish looked back over his shoulder and Jack knew he had told his friends about the bet.

"Were we like that?" Scott asked.

"Yes," Jack replied without needing to think about it. Seven years ago. It hadn't felt that long, but so much had happened. Off the top of his head there was a grand final loss he would much rather forget, one leading goalkicker award for the club, 150 games, a wife, a baby. And Josh. Out of everything Josh was most surprising, although being the leading goalkicker for one season had come out of left field too. Never in a million years did he think he would enjoy having sex with another man, let alone fall in love with one. And Jack had fallen hard. Josh occupied his thoughts and dreams more often than a teammate should for a happily married man.

"Woo ooh. JD? Are you in there?" Jack heard Scott ask, having obviously been too lost in his thoughts. That happened a lot when Josh was on his mind. He was tapped on his temple.

"What?"

"I asked if you wanted to go to the pub after this," Scott said. "Somewhere in the casino?"

Jack looked beyond the group of youngsters to the see the familiar scruffy beard ahead of him walking with Mark. Jack had been hoping for a private catch up with Josh tonight.

"Sure, why not? I don't have any other plans."

 

The team had officially moved to Lathlain now, utilising the Perth Demons’ club rooms until their brand spanking new centre was built. A few sneaky kisses at training were all Jack and Josh managed for the next week. And if Jack had missed Josh during the hiatus, these little tasters of what he was craving were only serving to make things worse. Once, Courtney had asked why he had been jerking off during his morning shower instead of having sex with her. Jack couldn't tell her he'd been fantasising about a particular man pounding him senseless and he'd been trying to replicate the feeling by fingering his own arse. Instead, he had said he hadn't wanted to wake her up but had happily performed his husbandly duty that evening. Jack loved Courtney. He always thought she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was intelligent and kind and a wonderful mother to their son. But he also loved Josh, the tall, muscular, dark eyed, scruffy forward who was the complete opposite to his beautiful petite blonde wife.

While Courtney was wrapping Christmas gifts, it was Jack's job to keep the inquisitive Max away from the wrapping paper. He was commando crawling and getting into everything. Courtney even put the Christmas tree on a table so little Maxy’s fingers wouldn’t be able to tear off baubles. Father and son had been outside on the deck until the sun got too low for their shade and forced them inside out of its burning rays. Just as he carried Max through the door, Jack's phone beeped.

_We have a baby!! *baby* *santa* *thumbs up* *family* *yellow heart* *blue heart* *smiley face* *love face*_

Jack smiled at the picture laden text. Josh must have been deliriously excited as he was actually using emojis, something he usually avoided like the plague.

"We'll have to buy another present," Jack called out as he walked through the house to find his wife. "There's a new Kennedy."

Courtney was sitting amongst a pile of immaculately wrapped gifts, scraps of multicoloured paper and ribbons. She squeaked in delight. "Oh yay! New baby! What did they have? How big? Have the chosen a name yet? Can we go visit?" She rattled off questions quickly to which Jack could only answer 'don't know.' She reached up and took Max from his dad's arms. She sat him in her lap and little chubby fingers found a scrap of paper to chew on.

"We should have another one," she said as Jack leaned down a pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Are you sure? Max wasn't exactly easy for you," Jack murmured. Courtney looked up.

"You don't want more kids?" she asked, her light blue eyes blinking

"Yes, but not at the expense of my wife," he said. "If Max is the only one we can have, I'll be happy with just us three." He kissed her hair again and she leaned her head back so Jack could kiss her lips.

Then, taking his phone from his hand, Courtney replied to Josh with all the questions she knew Jack would forget to ask. Jack froze in fear, hoping beyond hope that there wasn't anything in that conversation chain between him and Josh that Courtney shouldn't be reading.

"You can't steal a man's phone," he said, trying for a playful sound in his voice.

Courtney waved him off and continued to concentrate on writing the long message. "I know about the porn stash," she grinned cheekily.

"Why does everyone think I have porn on there? I know my team-mates, it would just end up on Instagram," Jack smiled. She handed the phone back and checked out what she had written. He scrolled up to check what conversations he'd previously had with Josh. There wasn't anything apart from a few messages about meetings or pubs. Nothing incriminating.

 

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, Jack seemed busier than ever. Not only was there regular training, but extra public relations visits as well. Most of the senior squad had been roped into the team’s mascot Rick the Rock's birthday party for the junior club members at the trampoline centre. In all honesty, Jack was actually looking forward to it. A couple hours of hanging out with a bunch of excitable kids on trampolines sounded like good fun.

Outside waiting with the rest of the team before they made their appearance, Jack spotted Josh. "What are you doing here?" Jack asked when he sidled up to him. "I thought you'd be at home with the bub."

Josh smiled and shrugged. "Gotta pay the bills somehow." He hooked his hands into his front pockets, making his oversized t-shirt ride up at the front. Josh always wore his clothes too big. He had an awesome physique and was forever hiding it when he wasn't playing a match. They stood silently together, Jack glad for his sunglasses that stopped anyone noticing he was checking out Josh's package, now his shirt was out of the way.

Suddenly, Jeremy was in between them and hooked his arms around their necks. Jack was amused to see that Josh looked as exasperated as he felt.

"Tramampolines!" he announced excitedly and bounced up and down. "Come on come on come on!"

"Did someone give you red food colouring?" Jack asked, getting pummelled by Jeremy's enthusiasm.

“Tramampolines!” he said again and pulled the two forwards excitedly into the centre.

Just as Jack as had thought, the day was a hell of a lot of fun. Signings and photo ops first up, then it was a free for all on the tramps, with games of basketball and dodgeball being arranged as well. Nic was having an awesome time. He showed off his basketball skills and gave tips on how to perform the perfect slam dunk. One young girl who couldn’t make a basket at all, he lifted up and let her put the ball through the hoop, to great applause. She wiggled her feet excitedly and once back on the ground gave Nic a hug around his long legs.

Jack stayed primarily with the bouncing kids, this was his domain and even showed off a couple of his flips. He wanted to teach them, but annoyingly OH&S would put a stop to that. The team didn’t want a law suit from parents of kiddies who had fallen off and broken their head because one of the players was encouraging them to do backflips.

A few of the guys had been coerced into playing dodgeball. The kids were having a wow of a time, managing to avoid Jeremy’s strong well-directed throw at Andrew that almost took his head off. Obviously harbouring a hidden talent, it was Josh who was proclaimed dodgeball champion. He and Elliot limped from the court, having thrown themselves around a little too hard.

“You okay there, old man?” Jack said, noticing Josh favouring one foot when he stood still. “It’s not your calf again?” _Please don’t let it be your calf,_ Jack prayed silently. He didn’t want another six weeks without Josh by his side on the field.

“Don’t know,” Josh said with a slight grimace as he flexed his foot. “I probably just landed wrong. I’m sure it’s fine.”

But it wasn’t totally fine. And the next week when Jack, as part of the team went to visit the Children’s Hospital to help spread some Christmas cheer to those young Eagle fans stuck in hospital over the holidays, Josh went in for surgery on his ankle. It was just a clean-up, he had said. It meant rehab, light training and his own regime once the team returned from their Christmas break.

Tossing up whether to visit Josh or not after he got out of hospital, Jack decided not to. Not wanting to burden Lauren with an extra visitor when Josh was out of action and they had a toddler and a new baby to look after.

 _How’s the ankle?_ he texted instead.

 _Sore_ , came the reply and Jack sighed. Any type of surgery on joints meant months of recovery. He wouldn’t be seeing Josh until well into the new year, if not March.

 

The last training session for the year had them split into three groups, looking all very Christmassy in their resplendent red, orange and green training shirts. Whenever he had a spare moment free from boxing drills or the weird stretcher-bearing challenge that no-one seemed to understand the significance of, apart from Lewis who was getting a free ride on said stretcher, Jack looked around hoping that by some Christmas miracle Josh would magically appear. He and Courtney had been too busy to visit, other than to drop off presents to the Kennedys but Jack now wanted nothing more than to wish Josh a Merry Christmas in person before their enforced break away from each other. Wish him Merry Christmas or give him a blow job in the club room loos, it was much the same thing in Jack’s book.

After their session, once they were showered and clean, Jack and Scott stood outside with a few of the other boys, looking out over the construction site for their new facility. Nothing seemed to be happening, although there did appear to be more dirt in place than there was last week.

“You want to grab the gang and go for a Christmas drink?” Scott asked. Jack checked his watch. There was a lot of work to do at home before the relatives descended on them on Monday.

“If it’s only an hour,” Jack replied, not wanting to blow off his friends.

“Good man,” Scott said, patted Jack’s shoulder and went back inside to find Andrew, Brad and Jeremy.

Four of the youngsters – Hamish, Jarrod, Oscar and Brayden - were close by discussing their own Christmas plans. When Hamish spotted Jack alone, he broke away from their little cabal and came to talk to him.

“Hey,” Jack greeted him with a smile.

“Hey,” Hamish replied, “All ready for Christmas?”

“Pretty much. We have family coming to ours, but most of my time is taken up trying to stop Max getting into the presents. You know what inquisitive babies are like,” Jack shrugged.

Hamish laughed softly and shook his head. “No, I have no idea and I don’t want to find out anytime too soon. I’m only nineteen,” he said with a bright grin. “And I think my girlfriend would rip my balls off if I suggested having a baby.”

“Ouch,” Jack deadpanned. He turned to check on Scott’s progress, then continued the small talk, when there was no sign of him. “What about you?”

“Me and the little bro are heading back to Melbourne on Saturday. Big family get together before we’re split across the country next year. Mum’s stoked me and Andrew got drafted, but I think she wishes we were like Angus and got somewhere closer.”

“Three in three clubs? Who is she going to follow?”

“Me of course,” Hamish preened, then laughed at his own joke. “Nah, she says she’s going to be very fair and cheer for all of us.

“You’ve clearly lucked out with the best team,” Jack replied.

Hamish lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper and leaned in a little closer. “That’s what I think, but don’t tell my family.”

Smiling, Jack made a zipping motion across his lips. Just then he heard his name being shouted out.

“JD! You coming?” Jack turned to see his group of friends, coming out of the clubrooms and heading in the direction of the casino.

“Hey, um, we’re heading off for a pre-Christmas tipple if you and the others want to join us,” Jack said, gesturing to between the two groups. As though pained by conflict, Hamish looked from his mates, to the group of senior players across the way and finally back at Jack.  His face dropped.

“We’ve already organised something,” he said softly, biting his lip.

“Next time, eh?” Jack offered and Hamish’s smile quickly returned.

“Definitely.” For a moment he held Jack’s gaze and Jack felt that familiar sensation of warmth beginning to travel up his neck. Hamish started to take a hesitant step towards him, then stopped himself. “Merry Christmas, Jack.”

“Merry Christmas, Hamish,” Jack replied and with a final glance between them, the youngster bounced away to catch up with his friends.

 

Max's first Christmas was exactly how Josh had described Lottie's to be. Parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts taking thousands of photos of Max playing with the boxes and wrapping paper instead of the gifts. During the afternoon lull, Jack found a quiet corner to text Josh. He only wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas, but he didn't need unwanted prying eyes looking over his shoulder.

 _Merry Christmas_ _*christmas tree*_

He wanted to type _I miss you_ as well but knew he couldn't. It had only been a few days without seeing Josh, but it felt like the hiatus all over again. Jack sighed softly. He should be happy today. It was a beautiful day, he was with his family, yet there was a tiny part of him that wanted to forsake all this and be with Josh.

 _Deck the halls_ _*jack'o'lantern*_

Was the text Jack received barely a minute later. The quick response gave him a little lift and the wrong holiday emoji made him chuckle. Buoyed, Jack pocketed his phone and happily re-joined his relatives in the annual post-Christmas lunch arguments about the Australian cricket team and their chances of another win in the upcoming Boxing Day test.

 


	2. Pre-Season - January

The new year brought hotter weather, heavier training and proper match practice for their first pre-season game in February. They were staying in and around Perth for the community cup this year. In addition to the pre-season fixture, there was a new toy called AFLX, which was something akin to Rugby Sevens or cricket's Twenty20. A cut down version of Aussie Rules, played with less players on a rectangular field. By all accounts it was a midfielder’s game. Lots and lots of running. Jack wasn't convinced about the need for another version of football, he quite enjoyed the version they had. The bigwigs thought it would be a good way to sell the game overseas, especially to countries that didn't have the large open grounds needed for AFL proper. Jack didn't care too much about the politics of the game, all he had cared about was whether he and Josh were going to be selected as it meant a few days in Adelaide for the round robin competition. Together. With Josh still recovering from ankle surgery there was no chance for that anymore.

The hot Summer sun blazed overhead, making training tougher work than usual. The team trooped back to the club rooms with sweat-drenched shirts and heavy legs. Faces were flushed bright red. Even Tarir’s cheeks were tinged where his dark complexion usually masked any external appearance of exertion. Despite his exhaustion, Jack keenly felt Josh’s absence. It was even worse than the hiatus as Josh was so near, yet so far away. Only rarely they had crossed paths lately. However, on those occasions Jack managed to pull Josh into a private corner and they made out like there was no tomorrow. Jack had decided not to shave as often, allowing his stubble grow in a little heavier so during those rare times team-mates wouldn't see the redness around his mouth and chin from Josh's beard. A few solitary minutes was all they managed that more often than not just left Jack hard and frustrated.

As Jack was about to leave for the day, he spied a familiar scraggy beard and limber form emerge limping from the club doctor’s office. Butterflies did back flips in his stomach and he hurried along the corridor to catch Josh up.

“JK!” he called and Josh turned, smiling to see Jack. “I didn’t know you were at the club.”

“Yeah, just a quick visit,” Josh replied. They looked at each other, almost unsure of what to do next. All Jack knew was that he didn’t want Josh to leave. The silence between them was starting to become awkward.

“So how is it?” Jack asked, pointing down at the still moon-booted ankle. What might have been the hint of a light fading bruise peeked out over the top.

“Better. It should come off soon,” Josh nodded. And again, they looked at each other, Jack’s breathing hitched as he saw Josh’s eyes darken with desire. Without a second thought to who might be watching or if anyone was close by, Jack attacked Josh’s lips in a fierce kiss. After a moment, Josh forced him away.

“Jack!” he chided, in a hoarse whisper. He looked up and down the corridor and then pulled Jack into a darkened alcove away from prying eyes. Their lips crushed together in a bruising hungry kiss. Jack was pressed up against the wall, his hands roaming up under Josh’s shirt, clawing at his back to pull him closer. Cocks hard and grinding desperately against each other, Jack felt as though he was about to come in his shorts.

"Please Josh," he panted heavily, gripping tight to Josh's shirt, pulling it out of shape. "Let's just go to a pub somewhere. It's Monday afternoon. No one will be there."

"We might get caught," Josh murmured and went in for another kiss. Unable to resist, Jack kissed back moaning low before tearing himself away to talk.

"You don't think we won't get caught here? Our whole team is just over there." He gestured in the direction of the clubrooms where half the team were finishing up their warm downs. Josh didn't say anything and pulled back to look at Jack. His eyes were so dark Jack couldn't see the delineation between pupil and iris.

"Josh?" Jack asked, slight concerned by the intensity of Josh's gaze. Josh blinked and sighed, slumping against the wall.

"You really want to fuck in a pub toilet?" he asked.

"No," Jack replied, stroking Josh's beard, knowing how much he liked it. His fingertips brushed gently over the longer hairs under his jaw. "But this is… don't you find this frustrating?"

"Of course I do, but I’m on a limited regime and I have two kids now I can't just go off with you as often as I'd like," Josh said.

"You haven't _gone off with me_ at all. Ever since training started up again, you haven't even tried to make time for me." Jack's hand wandered down to Josh's collar, sliding over his chest and around the side of his neck. Josh's eyes closed in enjoyment of the gentle massage. "Grinding up against each other in dark corridors isn't what I had in mind for the moments we actually get together."

Josh's eyes fluttered open and he moved away from Jack's hand. "You know I can’t," he argued, his voice harder than usual.

"I don't just mean sex, when was the last time we sat and talked, or had a coffee or anything together, just the two of us?" Jack asked. He already knew the answer. "We used to make time for our friendship."

"Things change, Jack," Josh said. "We've changed. Something has to give."

"You can't tell me you find this satisfying," Jack countered and took Josh's hand to direct it over the large bulge in his shorts. It was a good thing they were loose and his hard-ons hadn't been too noticeable once they had emerged from their hiding spots.

"I don't know what you want from me." Josh removed his hand from Jack's crotch to take his face in his hands instead, bringing their foreheads together. He lowered his voice to a husky whisper. "I'm trying, Jack. Believe me, I want you. I want this. I can’t help that my body is old and giving out."

Jack rested his hands at Josh's narrow waist, closing his eyes. He listened to and felt Josh's elevated breathing against his lips. He knew there would have to be compromises, but four months without having some proper time with Josh that didn't involve their team-mates was driving Jack crazier than he thought possible.

"Once my ankle is right things will be better," Josh whispered, moving his lips to rest against Jack's ear. Once the season started they would be on the road in hotels at least every fortnight. Ten more weeks. Ten more weeks of desperation. Ten more weeks of jerking off in the shower. To Jack it felt like an eternity.

When they had emerged from their alcove and Josh had said goodbye, Jack was feeling decidedly frustrated. Not only with the lack of private time with Josh, but with how Josh seemed to be keeping him on a string, either pulling him closer or holding him at arm’s length. He had no-one he could talk to about this and his frustration manifested into growling at one of his namesakes’, Jack Redden, when he asked for the time.

“How the fuck should I know…” Jack spat, then suddenly his demeanour changed. There _was_ someone he could talk to. Someone who might understand what he was going through.

"Reds! Reds, wait up!" The youthful looking man with a perfect coif turned at the sound of his nickname. Jack jogged to catch him up.

"You’re being nice now, are you?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and they continued on their way out to the carpark.

"Sorry about that. Bad day. But do you mind if I have a quick, er, private word?" Jack asked in a quiet voice.

"Alright then," Reds shrugged and followed Jack to his car. Once in, Jack sat quietly thinking on how to go about asking what he wanted to ask.

"JD?" Reds prompted. Jack screwed up his face.

"When you were at Brisbane, when you were with..." Jack paused not really sure what kind of relationship Reds had previously had with his teammate.

"Yeah," Reds answered, "What about it?"

"How did you manage it? I mean, surely no one knew about it but you found time for him?" Jack's hands fidgeted in his lap, unconsciously picking at his thumbnail.

"Well, we didn't have wives and kids for one," Reds said simply.

Jack felt a small twist in his gut. The beginnings of the familiar guilt. "Right, yeah," he muttered. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

Reds put a friendly hand on Jack's shoulder. "Look, it's a difficult time when you find out you're gay."

Jack's head snapped up so fast he thought he might have given himself whiplash.

"I'm not gay," he countered and Reds arched that eyebrow again. A lot of things were being said with that eyebrow.

"You're having an affair, with a bloke."

"Not just any random bloke," Jack murmured then added vehemently. "I love my wife and I only liked girls before I was married." That wasn't entirely true, he'd had a crush on Josh long before he'd even met Courtney. "I don't like blokes, not like that... And it's not an affair."

"What would you call it then?" Reds asked.

"Not that," Jack muttered. There was no other word for it. Calling it an affair made it seem wrong, which in the eyes of their marriage vows it was. It didn't feel wrong to Jack to want to be with Josh though. This was fate, this was the way things were supposed to be.

"Whatever you call it, you're still cheating on your wife," Reds said and Jack wondered why he was being so blunt.

"You don't think I know that?" he shot back. "If you're not going to be helpful you can fuck off." He really thought Reds would be able to help, or give him some sort of comfort. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing. I know you want Josh," he added, unsure of what possessed him to say it.

"You're being a dick, JD," Reds replied, opening the door and got out. He slammed the door shut and walked away. Jack thumped his hands against the steering wheel and let out a growl of frustration.

He got out of his car and called after Reds' retreating form. "Jack!"

Reds stopped but he didn't turn around. Jack hurried up to him.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, touching Reds on the shoulder to get him to turn around. "Look, it's just that…"  Jack paused trying to find the right words. "Have you ever felt like you love two people so much your heart is going to spilt in two?"

Reds looked surprised by Jack's candour who felt millions of snakes writhing inside him. He raised his eyes to the sky so he didn't have to look at the man standing in front of him.

"This is really serious. I thought you were just fucking or whatever," Reds said and Jack shook his head. "And JK feels the same?"

"He says so. But I know he loves Lauren as much as I love Courtney and she means the world to me. But Josh…" Jack stopped unable to explain any more. He sighed heavily. Josh was kind of like a soulmate. It was the best explanation he could come up with. Someone that he would always be with no matter what world or life or time. Somehow, they would find each other. Explaining that to someone else sounded melodramatic and ridiculous.

"Your secret is still safe with me," Reds murmured, "But I can't help you, Jack. I'm sorry."

"I was hoping you had some sort of magical solution, since you had… well you know what you had." Jack gave him a small smile.

"I've never been in your position. The thing with Tom was before I got with Aymee and it was never that serious." Reds patted Jack's chest, wished him good luck and walked to his own car. Jack dropped his head and tiredly rubbed a hand over his face.

 

The next time Josh limped into the clubrooms was for the team photo day. Jack made a conscious effort to keep his distance from him hoping it would somehow help the weeks pass more quickly. His active ignoring of the big key forward didn’t go unnoticed by their captain, as Josh was so rarely at the clubrooms and when he was Jack went back to his previous routine of leaving as early as he could.

"Please don't tell me you and JK are having another tiff," Shannon said as Jack emerged bare-chested from his guernsey. Josh had turned up, hair spiked up in a mohawk like a dag and Jack had made sure there were at least three team-mates between them at all times. Only when he saw Josh massaging Liam’s shoulders who was sitting in front of him on the floor, did he regret his choice of keeping his distance.

"What are you on about?" Jack asked, shaking the creases out of the shirt.

"You two aren't talking again," Shannon said. Technically that was correct. It wasn't because Jack didn't want to talk to Josh, it was because he had to keep his sanity. Also, he was pretty sure Shannon wouldn't appreciate it if Jack broke and fucked Josh right there in the middle of the change rooms. There was team bonding and there was team bonding but that was probably taking it a step or several hundred too far.

"Oh, yeah," Jack agreed, putting on a sombre expression. "I found out it was Gov's baby he was carrying so I ditched him."

"If you're not going to take this seriously..."

"Nope," Jack answered and found his own shirt and pulled it on over his head.

But Shannon wasn't done. "We have a lot of new young guys at the club, we need our seniors to set a good example."

"I would have thought ditching JK because he's a trollop _was_ setting a good example," Jack grinned. After genially patting Shannon on the back, he removed his playing shorts and put his own back on. He watched the captain cross the room to speak to Josh, who had been talking to Mark. Shannon was too observant for Jack's liking. All last year he had noticed Jack and Josh's quiet spats. It looked as though this year was going to be no different. Jack sat down just as Josh joined him, who was still in his playing gear. With the new kit supplier, the guernseys were a lot tighter than they used to be and Josh’s hugged his torso like a second skin. His shorts sat high on his thighs, not leaving much to the imagination. 

"Hello," he greeted, his hair flattened back to its normal state. There was a sudden rush of blood to Jack's cock. Apparently, it was only taking the sound of Josh's voice to get him horny these days.

"Hello," Jack echoed, subtly breathing in, trying to relax and ignore the sudden swelling in his shorts.

"Bunga thinks we're fighting," Josh smiled.

"I know," Jack replied, unconsciously inching his leg closer to the warmth of Josh's. When he felt the light touch of skin on skin, he moved it back. That was why he had been avoiding Josh. Jack couldn't be within a foot of his fellow forward without wanting to touch him. The new close-fitting playing gear wasn’t making matters any easier.

"But you have been avoiding me," Josh said. There was no point to deny it. That was exactly what Jack was doing.

"Yep."

"Any particular reason?"

Josh had really got the hang of this talking thing, Jack thought. Last year, Josh had avoided Jack more times than he could count without explanation. But then, last year had been a very interesting year.

"Yep. You're carrying Gov's baby so I chucked you," Jack smiled when Josh looked totally lost. His brow went up, giving him the look of someone who was sure he had a hundred-dollar note, only to look again to find it had turned into a five.

"You know, like last year," Jack said as way of explanation and Josh nodded in understanding.

"Long pregnancy. Am I having an elephant?"

"If it's Gov's, then most likely. He is a massive unit," Jack replied, looking out over the busy change rooms to see if the man in question was about.

"But what's the real reason," Josh asked.

"I thought it would be easier to make it to our first away game together if we weren't..." Jack looked up to make sure no flappy elephant sized ears were close by. He dropped his hand to the bench seat and rested little finger against the smooth material of Josh's shorts. He was catnip and Jack couldn't help himself.

"Yeah I understand," Josh said and he turned to look directly at Jack whose insides did a little jump which was echoed in his shorts. Subtly he shifted in his seat, casually draping his other hand between his thighs to hide any movement and tried not to look at those deep brown eyes penetrating through to his soul.

Jack watched as Josh's hand twitched towards him and ended up giving his knee a friendly pat as he stood up and waded back into the bustle of the room. Closing his eyes and leaning his head back against his locker, Jack took a few moments to compose himself.

"JD?"

Jack opened his eyes to an excited looking Jeremy. The large backman bounced down to sit beside his friend, throwing an arm around his shoulders. For a big man he could be excitable as a puppy.

"Is it true?" Jeremy asked.

"Is what true?"

"JK's having my baby?"

Jack snorted out a laugh. "Christ, news travels fast around here. You're all a bunch of gossiping old ladies."

They sat together quietly for a moment, Jack resisting the urge to let his head drop against Jeremy's shoulder. The weight of Jeremy's arm was comforting and he would have given anything in the world for it to be Josh hugging him like this, in view of everyone without any suspicion. It was nice. He momentarily caught Josh's gaze across the room and it darkened at the sight of Jeremy cuddling up to Jack. Mark arrested his attention and Josh turned away.

This made Jack recall there was still one thing on his mind he had never got a satisfactory answer for.

"Why did you want to get into my bed that time?"

"What? Oh that. Well, alright then," Jeremy conceded. "I wanted to know if there was any truth to the rumours about you and JK."

Jack frowned. "What rumours? I never heard any rumours."

Jeremy shrugged and let his arm drop a little, keeping his hand on Jack's back. "Well, not really rumours. You know, all those jokes you told Bunga about kinky sex and threesomes. They came so easily. I thought maybe there was something. Then Mitch said JK said something about you and him in a hotel shower." Jack held his breath. He and Josh had fucked in many a hotel shower. Why the hell was Josh telling Sam that? Jeremy didn't notice Jack's discomfort and continued, "I could never work you two out. Your friendship is weird."

It was now, Jack agreed silently. He tried to keep the tremor out of his voice. "Weird? In what way?"

"Well, you and me and Slycett and Gaff and Shep, we're all mates, yeah? JK and Lecca and Buts and Pridda, they are, _were_ , all mates." Jack was sure that even though Sam and Matt had retired, they were still friends with Josh. Friendships didn't end that quickly when you'd been on the same team for about eight years

"And?" he prompted, still not quite sure what Jeremy was getting at.

"I don't know. You're like, different when you're with him. Like the Jack I hang out with isn't the Jack that is all cosy with JK over there," Jeremy explained. "I mean you've always been like that, I just noticed it more last year. And for two blokes who spend a lot of time together you'd think you'd talk enough to know your weddings were on the same day."

Jack softly laughed. He would have loved to have gone to Josh's wedding, to see Josh all nervous and excited. Stroking his face in that way when he was anxious that made his beard all pointy at the chin. Despite the thick growth of hair covering his lower face, Josh always looked so much younger when he was happy.

"Meh, these things happen," Jack said and smiled nonchalantly.

"So I thought maybe you might confess something if it looked like I was coming onto you. I just got the wrong room," Jeremy grinned. It was strange, last year Jack would have done anything to keep him and Josh a secret, but as Jeremy spoke Jack found himself not minding if he knew the truth. There was still Courtney and he couldn't bear to hurt her. The more people knew the more chances she had to finding out. Overall it was best kept secret.

"And what did you find out?" Jack asked innocently.

"You're just my weird little friend," Jeremy grinned and drew Jack towards him in a friendly headlock and playfully knuckled his hair.

"Yay," Jack deadpanned and allowed the harassment to continue. It was always best with Jeremy to just go with the flow. "And enough of the little." He was over six-feet-two, that wasn’t short by normal human standards, only by McGovern standards.

Jeremy let him up and Jack smoothed down his hair.

"Okay, I have a question for you, would you have actually snogged me if I didn't chicken out?" Jeremy asked. Jack had asked himself the very same question. He had been only millimetres away from Jeremy's lips and was sure they had actually fleetingly brushed together. The breath was rapid, hot and moist on his skin. It would have only taken another small movement, another few seconds. But it hadn't felt right, not at all.

"Nah," Jack said. The only man he had ever wanted to kiss was Josh. His adorably scruffy goofy Josh. "You're not my type."

"Shame. I have a nice little collar I reckon would suit you," Jeremy teased and Jack snorted loudly. Nearby, Hamish turned in their direction, wondering what in the hell the strange noise was.

 

Once all the photos were done, Jack ended up almost last to leave the club. His individual shots had been stuffed up and he had to get changed back into his playing gear to pose again. Most of his teammates would say that pretty Jack loved having his photo taken – _King of Selfies_ he’d be branded by a few of them. In this case, he just felt like a dick, having to pose with a football, or crossing his arms, or frowning to look menacing. It was a load of wank. Finally, when he was done for the second time, he walked out of the club rooms and bumped fair and square into young Hamish who had his nose buried in his phone.

"Oh fuck, sorry!" Hamish exclaimed. Managing to drop his bag but keep a hold on his phone, he grabbed onto Jack's arms to steady himself. "I wasn't watching."

"All good," Jack smiled, automatically cupping Hamish's elbows to stop the young man stumbling forward.

"I'm such a goof. I'm always doing that. I need to learn to stand still when I check my phone," Hamish smiled, looking into Jack's eyes. There was a momentary silence between them, until Hamish blinked and Jack realised he was still holding onto the young man.

"No damage done," Jack said and let him go, although Hamish held on a moment longer. "I better go," Jack added when it looked like Hamish wasn't going to move out of the way.

"Oh yeah. Of course," Hamish said and moved to the side. As Jack was about to walk past, Hamish spoke again.

"Hey um, I couldn't help overhearing, but what's the baby thing with you and JK and Gov?"

"That is a long stupid story," Jack said with a smile.

"I've got time and I like stupid," Hamish said, shouldering his bag and fell into step beside Jack.

"It's nothing really," Jack said but proceeded to explain the stupid joke to the new recruit and even included the non-kiss between him and Jeremy. Hamish laughed heartily.

"Oh my God! You snogged Gov?" Hamish giggled.

"No. Nearly. It didn't happen."

"But you wanted to?" Hamish asked when his giggles subsided.

"Fuck no," Jack screwed up his face. "I like Gov, but not like that."

"He did taste rather Lynx-y," Hamish playfully stuck out his tongue in a gesture of distaste.

"I'm pretty sure he bathes in it." After every match and training session Jeremy was known to excessively use the strong body spray, making sure to drown every possible body odour particle present.

"If I'd known that, I would have asked for 100," Hamish grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"No way. 50 is my limit for stupid bets amongst team-mates, otherwise I would be broke." They had arrived at Jack's car, he popped the boot and put his bag in.

"There might be others I would lick for less," Hamish replied and casually leaned against the back door of the car. Jack wasn't sure if he wanted to know. However, he took the bait and couldn't stop himself asking.

"Yeah? Like who?"

Hamish bit his bottom lip in thought and looked right at Jack. A hint of tongue peeked out and ran across his lip where his teeth had made an impression. There was something in Hamish's stare that gave Jack a jolt to his stomach. "Um, Yeoy looks pretty tasty. Maybe Reds. Or even JK, but he's probably a bit too beardy."

Feeling his neck go warm and the heat creep up to his ears, Jack had to physically bite his tongue to stop himself from mentioning just how nice Josh's beard was; how soft it was against his face and how amazing it felt between his thighs.

"Do you need a lift, or something?" Jack offered, wanting to get off the subject of Josh's beard. His voice stuck in his throat and he coughed to clear it.

Contemplating the offer for a moment, Hamish pushed himself off Jack’s car. "I should probably catch the train, thanks though,” he said. "Seeya tomorrow." The young man waved and wandered off in the direction of the station.

It wasn't until Jack sat down in the driver's seat that he noticed he had a semi, bulging against his shorts’ zipper.

"Fuck," he murmured. Was that from the thought of Josh's beard rubbing along his cock, or the way Hamish stared at him?

"Fuck," he said again and shifted in his seat, waiting for it to wane before he drove home to his wife.

 


	3. AFLX  & JLT Communtiry Series – February

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little meandering with not much pay off, you have been warned :)

To Jack’s surprise, he found he actually liked playing AFLX. In the weeks leading up to the competition, the squad would have a quick game of two halves. With a lot of running required, Jack felt he was more in the game, much like when he was younger and had started out as a midfielder. An early growth spurt put him in the forward line in the under 16s. There he stayed until other boys caught up and outgrew him. It was a game of centimetres. Too tall for the mids, too short to be a big forward. A few coaches didn’t quite know what to do with him. But Jack had always known his heart was in the forward line. Now, in more ways than one.

Similar to last year when Adam had sent all the rookies and young ones to butt-fuck nowhere to play in one of the pre-season games, he had decided that the AFLX would be a good chance to blood the first- and second-year players to the top level. The team needed all the new-blooding they could get. Jack still had no idea if he was going to be picked for Thursday’s matches or not. All current rumours trended towards not. There one thing made him happier than he’d been for the past few weeks: Josh was back at training.

His beard was fuller. Apparently, he’d not bothered to trim it since the photo day. He smiled brightly, his eyes twinkled mischievously and Jack could not help staring at him. When their eyes met across the room, Josh nodded and smiled. Jack flushed. The big man walked over and Jack could smell the familiar scent of his body spray the closer he came.

“You’re back,” Jack said stupidly, unable to think of anything to say that wouldn’t out them to the whole team. 

“Yep, back to full training, almost,” Josh replied. He had a football under his arm, making his chest appear broader.

“Good,” Jack said and patted Josh’s chest, leaving his hand to rest high on his pecs. “It’s not the same without you.”

“At least it happened now rather than later.”

“Don’t say that, you’ll jinx yourself,” Jack said, then leaned up to murmurs in Josh’s ear, “I need you.”

“Drink after work?” Josh asked casually.

“Try and stop me,” Jack said and his hand slid down Josh’s smooth training shirt as the big man turned to walk away.

Team meeting was first and it took Scott calling Jack’s name twice to get him to move into the meeting room. There wasn’t much to discuss, however the team going to play the AFLX in Adelaide was announced. Just as suspected all the new boys were on the roster. Jack didn’t mind. The young guys deserved to have a chance to play in the blue and gold as much as the seniors. He tuned out for the rest of the meeting and he ended up just looking at the back of Josh’s head, who had decided to sit right in front of him.

Lost in his thoughts, Jack was surprised by an arm that hooked around his neck. Hamish had attacked him with an excited hug. The meeting had ended and Jack hadn’t noticed.

“I got in!” The midfielder bounced and bumped shoulders It was as though he’d been taking tips from Jeremy, the bonus being Hamish wasn’t as big as Jeremy and couldn’t break Jack as easily.

“You knew you were going to play,” Jack smiled, and patted Hamish’s hand that was hanging down over his shoulder. “All the new boys were gonna go.”

“Why do you have to kill my joy?” Hamish grinned. “My name is on the board. It’s awesome.”

“Well done. You’ll do well, I know it,” Jack smiled.

“Thanks Jack,” Hamish grin was as wide as a Cheshire Cat. “You wanna come have a drink afterwards to celebrate my awesomeness?”

“I’m already going to have a drink with JK,” Jack said flicking his eyes over to where Josh was now talking to Sam and genuinely felt bad he couldn’t take up the youngster’s invitation.

Hamish’s face fell. “Oh, okay. That’s fine. It was short notice.”

“Why don’t you join us?” Jack offered. “The more the merrier, right?”

“Sweet! Thanks!” Hamish said and bounced away. From being hug attacked, to being poked in the shoulder, Scott was now annoying him.

“Where’s my invite?” he asked, pushing his bottom lip out in a big pout.

“You know JK and I go for a drink sometimes.”

“Yeah, but now the pretty boy gets to come along,” Scott moaned. He wasn’t really upset, Jack knew he was just winding him up.

“Awww Slycett’s got a crush on the pretty boy,” Jack said in a sing-song voice and poked Scott’s chest.

“Get off me, you perve,” Scott batted Jack’s hands away and clipped him over the back of the head as he stood up.

“Slycett loves Bray, Slycett loves Bray,” Jack continued to sing. “K-i-s-s-i-n-g.” Scott pushed him over. Jack laughed. It felt good to laugh. It felt good not to be so anxious all the time.

 

Showered and dressed, Jack waited for Josh outside. He's was feeling nostalgic for being back at Subiaco for training. Lathlain construction was powering along and although it was supposed to be completed mid-year, Jack would believe it when he saw it. He looked at the trees cast long summer afternoon shadows over the nearby park and walked over to stand in the shade, in view of the clubroom doors.

A few minutes later Josh's hand landed on his shoulder. "Ready?" he announced.

"I hope you don't mind, but Bray and a couple others are going to join us," Jack replied, turning to face the big man.

Josh's brow furrowed, he put both hands on Jack's shoulders. "This is me making time for you, Jack," he whispered. "You were complaining that I didn't."

"I know, next time just us, I promise," Jack conceded, looking up into those dark brown eyes and trying not to think about kissing those soft pink lips. "Maybe it's better this way because I really want to fuck you, right here and now."

Unconsciously their faces drew closer, Josh's eyes grew darker and Jack's breath hitched. Both stood stuck, suspended between desire and common sense.

"Beer time!" said the jovial voice of Hamish. Josh and Jack stepped away from each other, turning toward the newcomer.

"Hey," Jack greeted, his heart hammering. "Where are the others?"

"What others?" Hamish asked and bounced on his toes. It was like he was constructed of jelly, constantly moving.

"Didn't you say you wanted to celebrate your selection?" Jack asked, slightly confused.

"Yeah and I asked you and you said to join you and JK. So here I am," Hamish grinned, holding his arms out in a 'tada' gesture.

Josh gave Jack a raised eyebrow, shrugged then slung an arm around the young man's shoulders.

"Well then, come along, young Sugarbray. You have much to learn, grasshopper," Josh said, the reference lost on both Jack and Hamish.

"Seriously?" he asked when all he received were blank stares. "Philistines."

The trio ended up going to the Vic. Like most afternoons it was quiet. Josh went to the bar to buy the drinks and Jack procured their old table in their old corner.

"This is our old haunt, we had a few birthday drinks here," he said, omitting the fact they only ever had one birthday drink at the Vic and instead used the very convenient usually very empty men's room for birthday blow jobs.

"It's my birthday tomorrow," Hamish said with a broad smile.

"No way," Jack exclaimed, fairly sure he wouldn't be giving Hamish the same present he gave Josh. "Happy Birthday."

"It's your birthday?" Josh asked as he appeared with three pints. "What are you doing here with us old farts?"

"It's tomorrow," Hamish replied, taking the nearest glass, "Thanks. And you're not old."

Jack clinked their glasses together. "Many happy returns." Hamish beamed behind a foam moustache.

Before they knew it, two hours had passed they'd been talking so much. Hamish didn't seem to mind the baby talk between the two fathers and he was so excitable, his own stories tended to ramble intriguingly off topic, greatly amusing his drinking companions. Having grown up with only sisters, Jack almost felt jealous of the antics of the Brayshaw brothers. When Josh stood to refill their glasses for the third time, Hamish checked the time.

"Ah fuck. I was supposed to meet Andrew tonight. I'm gonna be late," he said, finishing the dregs of his beer. "I gotta go. Thanks for the drinks." He looked at Jack and winked.

Josh patted his shoulder and wished him a good night. The youngster hurried out of the pub, texting as he walked and managed not to bump into any people, furniture or walls.

Josh sat down again. "He's a nice kid."

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "A little strange sometimes."

Shuffling his chair a little closer, Josh subtly ran a finger along Jack's hand and leaned down to whisper, "Just us now."

"Just us," Jack echoed. The desire from earlier hadn't waned, it had just been put on hold while Hamish was in company. He was becoming better at controlling his feelings. Under the table, Jack rested his hand high on Josh's thigh.

"Men's room is just there…" he suggested and stroked his fingers higher. The want for Josh, to be naked with him, to be inside him was growing stronger.

"Not in the pub," Josh murmured, a slight break in his voice when Jack's wandering hand brushed over the front of his shorts.

"I can't be this close without wanting it," Jack whispered and took his hand away, but he felt Josh hold it in place on his leg.

"We need to try," Josh said. "There's still another month to go before we're back on the road."

"Maybe you should stop flirting with me, then," Jack smiled.

"You're the one with your hand on my dick," Josh countered.

"Your dick is not that long," Jack smiled and patted Josh's knee.

Slipping his arm around Jack, Josh trailed a slow finger down his spine. "I miss being with you," he said softly. The light touch gave Jack a tingle all the way down to his toes.

"I miss it too, but if you've ruled out quickies at the pub or in the car, we have to wait."

"Am I still allowed to kiss you?" Josh murmured, his head so close, Jack could feel his fuller beard brush along his jaw.

"That depends," Jack said cheekily.

"On what?" Josh frowned.

"Buy me another beer?" Jack grinned.

"This is blackmail," Josh said and stood up to go to the bar.

*******

Because half the team and half the coaches were in Adelaide, training was gym only, working on individual sets for the next few days. There was no timed schedule and most of the boys either worked out at home or wandered into the club gym whenever they could be bothered. After Jack's cool down swim, the Darlings were going to the Kennedy's to watch AFLX, more so to see how their young blood would fare under game pressure rather than interest in the actual competition.

Courtney handed Max off to Jack when Lauren offered her a nurse of the baby and the two women spent the afternoon comparing mothering stories. With Lottie attached to his leg, Josh took Jack into the lounge. Max wiggled and wanted to be put down on the floor. Lottie wasn't too sure about this crawling thing invading her space and sat up on Dad's lap to keep out of its way.

"He's not walking yet?" Josh asked as Max crawled over to the centre of the room and sucked on the nose of his toy bear that never left his side.

"Trying," Jack said and reached over to tickle Lottie. She squeaked and hid her face against Josh's shoulder. "He can pull himself up to stand."

"When do we play?" Josh asked, picking up the remote. The TV was on the Winter Olympics and a replay of a spectacular crash on the half-pipe. Jack searched through his phone for the schedule then checked the time.

"Five, I think," he replied, working out the conversion from Adelaide to Perth time.

"Sweet," Josh said and left the TV on the Olympics. They sat in silence determined not to look at each other, keeping an eye on their kids, Lottie had overcome her hesitation and migrated to the floor to play with Max.

"You four are quiet," said Lauren as she walked in, surprised to see her daughter happily sharing her toys. Jack was slumped at one end of the couch, her husband at the other.

Josh shrugged. "I've drugged them," he deadpanned and Lauren rolled her eyes.

“How are the boys going?” she asked, resting a hand on the back of the sofa and glancing at the TV.

“Not too bad,” Jack answered, feeling a little jealous that he wasn’t out there with them. He could see the inexperience and perhaps one or two senior boys would have helped to get them over the line.  Having the afternoon sitting net to Josh was something he wouldn’t complain about, even though they were determinedly not touching each other. Being so close was a double edged sword.

*******

"I didn't get selected," Hamish grumped as he walked down to the water with Jack. It was ‘bring your dog to work day’ and recovery at the beach was busy with dogs of all kinds. Mostly big manly dogs, but some boys brought little yappy ones that seriously discredited their tough man statuses. Even Luke's dog who had disgraced himself and had been previously banned from club outings was here, on a short leash of course.

"It's a tough to get your first spot, especially when there's a lot of competition for the same spots," Jack sympathised and waded into the water. Hamish dived in under a wave and came up a short distance away.

"Fuck! It's cold!" he exclaimed brushing his wet hair back. Jack laughed and dunked his head under the water too.

"What did you expect?" he asked, shaking the water droplets from his short-cropped hair.

"Shut up," Hamish said playfully and pushed at Jack's shoulder. Jack pushed back and soon they were trying to dunk each other under the waves. Bigger and stronger, Jack managed to hold Hamish under, who kicked out hard with his legs, connecting sharply with Jack's crotch. Groaning in pain, Jack loosened his grip and Hamish surfaced, gasping for air.

"Okay, okay," he spluttered, "I surrender."

Jack rubbed himself under the water, soothing the pain away. "Fuck me. Careful where you're kicking."

"Oops," Hamish grinned, clearly not sorry. "All's fair in love and war." He paddled out a little deeper and tried to body surf in on a breaking wave. Jack stood with his back to the waves and watched the happenings on the sand. His eyes unpredictably wandered to Josh and his two dogs.

Josh was looking out to the surf, watching Jack and Hamish in the water. He was too far away for Jack to read his expression. Soon he turned he attention back to his dogs, keeping them under control.

“What are you looking at?” Hamish asked, coming up to stand beside Jack.

“Nothing,” Jack sighed and ducked under the water for one last swim before making the trek back up the beach.

**********

Useful was how he had been described. It felt like a back handed compliment. As Jack walked off the field after the narrow victory over the Power, he felt all the weight of 'useful'. He should have been dominant in Josh's absence. He should have given the mids a presence up front to kick to. He had to play as though they didn't need Josh. That was hard to do when his own thoughts were consumed with the big key forward.

"Hey," greeted Scott as he caught up to Jack. He looked exhausted. It was his first proper match for almost eight months and the game had clearly taken its toll. Although he wasn't favouring one knee or holding his shoulder which boded well.

"Stop moping," he said, noticing Jack's slumped shoulders and gently bumped him. "You did fine.  That's what preseason is for, getting all the cobwebs out and seeing where you can improve."

Jack frowned. "No shit Sherlock. I'm still allowed to be pissed off I didn't play the way I wanted to." They walked off the field in silence and into the change rooms at Leederville Oval, a small ground not far from Subi where their feeder club was based.

When he walked in with Scott, both received a few pats on the back for a job well done.

“You looked good out there,” said Hamish appearing beside him, after Jack had extracted himself from his tight guernsey.

“Not as good as I wanted,” Jack replied, bundling up his shirt to throw into the pile for washing.

“It was the first proper game, I think everyone looked a little rusty from where I was sitting,” Hamish smiled and his eyes flicked down to Jack’s bare chest.

“Thanks,” Jack said and sat down on the bench in front of his temporary locker to take his boots off. As he leaned forward to untie his laces, he felt a warm hand on his back for a moment.

Perhaps he hadn't played as poorly as he thought. Jack was his own harshest critic, come from years of wanting to prove himself because every early coach told him he wasn't living up to his potential. But what was better than a guaranteed starter every week for a senior AFL team? Of course he couldn't rest on his laurels. If he was crap he wouldn't be here. Being constantly compared to Josh didn't help his confidence. They were a team, they worked best together. That couldn't always be and instead of replacing Josh he needed to assist the other forwards in the way he assisted Josh. He worked better in the aide rather than the primary lead in the forward line. His worth wasn't measured in the goals against his own name, but in what he could bring to his team-mates.

The more Jack thought the better he felt. It was a very scrappy game, hard fought. Both teams fumbled and didn't make the most of the opportunities presented, reflected as the low score line, only eight goals apiece. Next week would be better. Due to the big gap between official pre-season games, an additional friendly against the Dockers had been organised to keep the match fitness up.

The official season was almost upon them. This time next month they would be at the new stadium, hopefully celebrating their first win at their new home. Hopefully Josh would be back in the forward line beside him.

******

By the time the next official pre-season match came around, Jack was seeing less of Josh at training. It wasn’t as though Josh was ignoring him, or avoiding him, Josh simply wasn’t coming to training as often. A sinking feeling weighed down Jack’s stomach. His ankle. His fucking ankle had flared up again.

“When were you going to tell me?” Jack asked in a harsh whisper when he managed to pull Josh into the secret alcove.

“Tell you what?” Josh feigned ignorance.

“Your ankle. You’re not going to make Round 1, are you?” Jack stated more than asked. He was angry with Josh for not telling him he was injured again.

“Knee, not ankle,” Josh murmured. “I didn’t want to tell you that it’s probably gonna be Round 6.”

Jack stared at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? Round 6?” Virtually two more months of waiting until Josh was back out on the field beside him. Even worse was that meant two missed away trips.

Solemnly Josh nodded. His dark brown eyes downcast.

“We’re never going to get any time alone, are we?” Jack asked, his anger ebbing away to be replaced by melancholy. The back of Josh’s fingers stroked down Jack’s cheek. Then his long strong arms wrapped around Jack and pulled him into a hug. Letting his eyes close and feeling the soft beard tickling against his face, Jack relaxed into the warm embrace, tucking himself under Josh’s chin.

*****

The final JLT match sucked. There was no other word for it. They had been run over like a steamroller by the Dockers and the whole squad was appalled by their terrible turn out, or lack of turn out as the case had been. Jack would have given anything to be described as ‘useful’ this week. He had been dismal. No score, a scratchy barely-there performance. With the first game of the season proper exactly two weeks away there was much soul searching to be done, not only for him, but for the whole of the squad.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Scott said as Jack ripped off his guernsey and threw it aside. “Two weeks is a long time in football.”

“Tell me about it,” Jack murmured. His mind on Josh and the hope that the forward would be back by Round 6. That was eight weeks. Jack needed him. The whole team needed him. Why would anyone think that Jack would be able to replace the great JK? If two weeks was a long time, eight was interminable.

“Something on your mind?” Scott asked, his head ducked down to meet Jack’s eyes.

“Just a hot shower and my nice comfortable bed at home,” Jack replied, and stalked away to wash away the misery that was the game.


	4. Round 1 – Eagles v Swans (Perth)

The first match of the season had come around, finally. Jack was feeling relieved and excited at the same time. The first game of the season was always nerve wracking, made even more so by having virtually a whole new playing list and the shiny new stadium.

Something that Jack had enjoyed, which helped calm his nerves, was having Scott back full time with the team. It was an extra mate to talk to and for some reason it had also stopped Shannon harassing him about the non-existent tiffs with Josh. Jack had no idea why, but he didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Occasionally Jack toyed with the idea of telling Scott about him and Josh, even though there hadn’t been any him and Josh for a long time now. It seemed wrong somehow to keep such a large secret from Scott. They'd been friends for ages. Perhaps unconsciously Jack wanted someone to talk to, someone that would understand and wouldn't judge him. And perhaps Scott could be that for him. Then again, he couldn't be sure that Scott wouldn't just slap him and tell him not to be so stupid.

"Are you alright, JD?" Scott asked as they walked out to the field for the open training session. The public had braved the unusually hot autumn day and were lined up along the boundary line to watch the team go through their drills.

"Yeah. Why?" Jack asked, casually bouncing a ball to himself.

"You've seemed extra quiet this week."

"I'm alright. First game nerves," he replied and handballed the footy off to Scott.

"You always start off well," Scott offered.

"Nail meet head. That's the problem. I do start well but can never finish it off."

"I don't want to hear about your sex life," Scott quipped and Jack rolled his eyes. Scott passed the footy back and they split to their respective disciplines, Jack heading for the 50-metre line for some goal kicking practice.

"Hey," said a jovial voice just as Jack lined up for a shot at goal from the corner pocket. He turned to see Hamish bouncing on his toes.

"Hello. What are you doing over here?" Jack asked and booted the ball easily through the big sticks.   
  
"Mitch reckons I need some time up your end.” There was an impish twinkle in Hamish’s eye.  “And here I am," he finished.

"So you are," Jack said and waited for a ball to be kicked back to him before walking to the next station. Hamish took the mark instead and took a shot at the same spot Jack did. Jack turned to watch, curious to see how well the young man kicked. He missed badly to the left of the behind post.

"Hm, I think you do need some accuracy practice," Jack observed and the ball came back to him and another ball to Hamish.

"Oh Shut up. You put me off," Hamish said good-humouredly and lined up again. Jack stood hands on hips to watch, noting the incorrect way Hamish dropped the ball onto his foot. And like the last shot, it missed.

"It's too high on your foot," Jack said and showing Hamish exactly where the ball needed to hit his foot, booted a goal straight through the middle without a wobble.

"That's what I was trying to do,” Hamish said and once the balls came back he tried again. This time he was closer, but still not as good as Jack.

"Better," Jack praised and by the time he and Hamish kicked five more times towards goal - Hamish managed two goals compared to Jack's straight five - the rest of the forward line had braved the heat and had appeared to go through their drills.

"Thanks for your help, Jack," Hamish said, and patted Jack on the shoulder. He jogged back to the rest of the midfield group. Jack cocked his head to the side and watched him jog away, slightly confused by the short sharp goal kicking clinic.

"Clearly he's not a contender for a forward position," Josh said drily and Jack snapped his head up at the sound of his voice. Jack’s heart thumped and stomach dropped in response to Josh’s sudden presence. "Probably good he's a midfielder with that kicking style."

"You're the last person who should comment on kicking style, Mr Stutter-step," Jack fired back a little annoyed that Josh was having a go at Hamish who was doing what any good player did and was trying to add to his game.

"It was a joke," Josh replied with a frown.

Jack glanced up at Josh, he looked hurt by Jack’s words. A whole stadium laughing at the way you kicked a football wasn’t exactly something one could brush off easily. There was an overwhelming urge to hug him and kiss him and apologise for being mean. Instead Jack turned away and joined the huddle for the pre-drill talk with Jaymie.

 

After an hour of drills, brooding and side-eye glances at Josh, Jack walked away from the training group needing a few moments to himself. He wiped the sweat off his face with the hem of his shirt, exposing his prominent abs. Emerging from the fabric, he thought he heard a distant wolf whistle. Unexpectedly, an arm wrapped around his chest from behind.

“What is going on, Jack? You’re not normally like this,” Josh murmured against his ear, chin resting on his shoulder. He had come over to give Jack a fresh bottle from the cooler and was pressed up against Jack’s back, hot and sticky from their exertions, damp because of the excess sweat. An inner war was taking place between Jack wanting to shrug Josh off him or to claw his clothes off, throw him down and fuck him into the turf. Taking a few deep breathes, Jack curbed his desires and leaned back, allowing himself to savour this innocent embrace.

“I feel… I feel like I’m back before I got drafted,” Jack explained and Josh pulled away, lest their embrace go on for longer than was expected from a bro-hug. “Waiting and waiting for something that might never arrive. Little things are making me angry all the time because of something I can’t control.”

“My ankle is better, my knee’s recovering. Look, I’m here at proper training,” Josh argued, his hand still resting on Jack’s shoulder.

“It’s not just the injuries, you know that,” Jack said, turning to face his sometimes lover. “How long can we keep this secret?"

"No idea," Josh sighed and took a long drink from his bottle. He took too big a mouthful and water spilled down into his beard. Without thinking, Jack reached out to wipe away the water droplets clinging to the soft hair.

"Keep doing that the guys might work something out," Josh said with a wry smile.

"This is perfectly normal. Friends clean each other’s beards," Jack grinned and Josh squirted him with his drink bottle.

"Hey! I'm wet enough already," Jack complained and wiped the additional moisture off his face.

“You like it when I make you wet,” Josh murmured and moved in close, almost close enough to kiss.  

“I thought we were trying to be good,” Jack murmured. And for a moment he forgot that he was in the middle of a football ground, with the entire squad and a few spectators watching their every move.

“You know I can’t resist you,” Josh whispered.

“You’re a bad, bad man, Kennedy,” Jack exhaled out, keeping his breathing even as he stared into Josh’s dark eyes.

“You’re the bad boy, Darling. In your sexy wet shirt, teasing me,” Josh quirked a smile and stepped back. He ran a hand down Jack’s arm before wandering off. Jack let out a long exhale, discarded his half-drunk bottle into the cooler and took his time in re-joining the skills group. If they had noticed anything about their key forwards’ private conversation, no one said anything.

 

With the skills training over for the day, all Jack wanted was a shower to sluice off the salt and sweat. Still looking after his knee, Josh had left the ground earlier than the rest of the group and Jack didn’t expect to see him again that afternoon. Armed with a towel he headed to the shower room and was accosted on the way by Josh, who pulled him into one of their dark private nooks. Without a word, Josh pulled Jack to his chest, just as he had out on the ground. This time his hard-on was evidently present, insistently pressing up between his still clad arse cheeks. His lips kissed along Jack’s neck, his breathing was heavy and shaky.

“Josh, we can’t,” Jack breathed out, angling his head back, exposing his neck to Josh’s kisses.

“It’s dark, no one will see us,” Josh insisted and Jack felt a tug at the back of his shorts, pulling them down to expose his arse.

“They’re just in the next room. They’ll walk past,” Jack whispered, his voice shaky with fear. Conflicted, he was half scared and half turned on beyond belief that they might be found in such a compromising position.

“I don’t know if I can wait much longer,” Josh moaned softly and roughly turned Jack in his arms to kiss him fully on the mouth. Moaning in unison, the kiss was deep, tongues tangling and hard cocks rubbing against each other through their shorts. Forcing himself to break the kiss, Jack pulled back and rested his forehead on Josh’s shoulder.

“We can’t. They’ll see us,” Jack panted softly, groaning as his cock suddenly throbbed in his shorts. He clawed at Josh’s back and went into for another hungry, rough kiss. Grabbing a handful of Jack’s bare arse in his hand, Josh squeezed him hard, his fingers slipping between the hot cheeks.   

Managing to wrench himself away from Josh, Jack pulled up his shorts, draped his towel over his crotch and continued on his way to the shower room. A few other boys were already showering, determinedly not looking at anything but their own junk. Jack installed himself under the end rose, put the water on cold as he could stand and faced the wall until his hard-on went away. He rested his forehead against his arm, leaning on the cool tiles and tried not to think about Josh and how desperate they both were to be with each other. Jack was almost on the verge of letting Josh fuck him in that dark corner. Team-mates be damned. There would be no thought of being quiet while Josh ploughed him. In the moment he would be beyond caring who heard how much he loved having Josh buried inside him, right up to the hilt, pounding him hard enough to split him in two. Jack turned off the hot water completely and let the cold chill his heated body.

Finally, when his desire waned and the heat of his body dissipated, Jack put the hot water back on and soaped himself down, to rid himself of all the dirt he accumulated during the afternoon. He emerged from the shower room with his dirty training gear in his arms and towel wrapped around his waist. He scanned the room for Josh and found him sitting on the far side, talking to Mark. There was a small pulse of anger going through him at Josh for being so fucking reckless. They’d made out in that corner before. It was a good find in their temporary digs. It was an alcove in the corridor that lead down to the function room. No one used that corridor unless the function room was active, otherwise it was dark and private enough for secret conversations. Definitely not private enough for two men who were having an illicit affair to fuck up against the wall.

When Josh noticed him, Jack turned away to his locker to quickly throw on some clothes. He needed to get home, away from Josh, lest his own weak mind and body convinced him to do something very stupid.

As he dressed, Scott came up behind him and draped an arm around Jack’s shoulder. Jack threw him off without ceremony. “Why does everyone have to touch me?” he growled, shrugging his shoulders.

“What’s your deal?” Scott asked and poked Jack in the back

“I’m sick of people pawing at me. None of you have any clue of personal space.” Jack clenched his fist, almost ready to take his frustration out on Scott. Instead, he angrily stuffed his gear into his bag, punching his clothes to make them fit.

“Everyone!” Scott announced the room at large, “JD has got PMT, best to leave him alone today!” The room laughed. Jack wasn’t in the mood to play along. He slung his bag onto his shoulder, taking delight in the fact he’d hit Scott with it in the process and left the rooms.

The heat was oppressive and the spectators who had come to watch the open training had left. From his vantage point under the club room verandah, he looked up to the bright blue firmament, wishing it would rain to give them some relief from this endless summer.

“Jack?” asked a soft, hesitant voice. Jack glanced back over his shoulder to see Hamish had followed him outside and he found himself not minding that it wasn’t Josh. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jack sighed and stared out to the training ground. The sounds of laughter filtered down to them, making the hair on the back of Jack’s neck stand on end. “Bad day.”

“Lycett was being a dick,” Hamish offered.

“What’s new?” Jack smiled back at him. Hamish stepped up to stand by Jack at the edge of the shelter.

“If you want to talk,” Hamish said, “I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

“Thanks, but I’m just gonna go home,” Jack said and Hamish nodded. It looked as though he was about to touch Jack on the elbow, but he thought better of it and stayed his hand. Probably best not to poke the tiger especially in light of Jack’s outburst in the rooms.

“Okay then.” The young man walked back towards the clubrooms. Not expecting anyone to follow him out, Jack discovered he was grateful that someone had come out to check to see if he was okay.

 

His phone was ringing when Jack unlocked his front door. His let it go to voicemail. The house was empty as Courtney and Max had gone out for an afternoon with the girls while Jack was at training. A few minutes later it rang again, and as before Jack let it ring out. Five minutes went by and he received a text.

_Are you going to talk to me?_

Jack ignored it. All he wanted was to be left alone, to calm down. That’s how he managed his anger when he was younger. That and booze, but since he tried not to drown his sorrows in alcohol anymore he went to his other method for settling himself, deep slow breathes and stay away from triggers.

His phone began to buzz on the bench. If he didn’t answer it was just going to ring again, and again. He swiped it open and left it on the bench on speaker phone.

“What?” he said in greeting.

“You okay,” said the tinny voice of Josh.

“I’m fine,” Jack replied and rested his elbows on the kitchen bench, letting the cold stone rest against his forearms to cool him down. “I’m feeling on edge.”

There was a pause on the end of the phone, then a heavy sigh. “About before…”

“Josh,” Jack interrupted, “I get it. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you.”

“I don’t want to avoid you!”

“But you have to! Not unless you want everyone to find out we’re banging.” There was another pause with Jack’s sentence hanging in the air.

“You know it’s more than that,” Josh said quietly, breaking the silence between them.

“Of course I do and that’s our problem. If I didn’t love you, things would be easier. I could walk away from this. But I can’t. I want you so much it hurts. And if we’re not careful it’s going to hurt our families.” Jack slumped down and rested his forehead on the cool stone. “We need to find a way to deal with this.”

“I don’t know how,” Josh replied.

“Neither do I.”

**Author's Note:**

> Team Dramatis Personae  
> Jack "JD" Darling - key forward; Josh J. Kennedy - key forward, vice captain; Adam “Simmo” Simpson – coach; Jeremy "Gov" McGovern - key backman; Andrew "Gaffy" Gaff - midfielder; Brad "Shep" Sheppard – medium defender; Hamish Brayshaw - midfielder, draftee; Luke “Boots” Shuey – midfielder, vice-captain; Luke “Parti” Partington - midfielder forward; Chris “Masto” Masten - midfielder; Scott "Slycett" Lycett – ruck; Oscar Allen - midfielder, draftee; Jarrod Brander - forward, backman, draftee; Mark “Lecca” LeCras – medium forward; Nic “NicNat” Natininui – ruck; Elliot "Yeoy" Yeo – midfielder; Lewis "Jetboi" Jetta – midfielder forward; Brayden Ainsworth - midfielder, draftee;


End file.
